U.S. Tax Madness

Taxes are always overwhelming, for everyone -- everywhere -- but trying to find answers to questions about the U.S. tax code is like trying to reason with HAL. "... I'm sorry, Dave ... I can't do that, Dave. ... Dave..." says the automated receptionist in my mind ...

In the process of trying to get my tax refund direct deposited in my Canadian-based, U.S. Dollar bank account, I did have an interesting chat with the Royal Bank customer service representative. He couldn't help me with the direct deposit business; in order to transfer funds to my account, you need first a three-digit institution number, then a five-digit branch transit number, then my seven-digit account number. However, the U.S. tax form asks first for a nine-digit routing number (my parents and I got into a lively discussion about the pronunciation of rOOting-vs.-rOWting -- apparently one pronunciation is Canadian and the other American, though I suspect it's simply regional), and then a seventeen-digit account number. Norman, my customer service representative, was able to get the routing number (money from the U.S. comes through JP Morgan Chase first, before going on to RBC Financial), but the seventeen digit account number remained a mystery -- to both of us. Norman suggested I 'simply call them up' and ask if they will do direct deposit to a Canadian bank (I'm sure there are other people who do this; I'm not the only Canadian who's ever worked in the U.S.) ... but alas, ... HAL...

Norm and had a good little conversation about my experiences as a Canadian in the U.S. though. Of course, he asked me the age-old question (the one everyone always asks me when I tell them I went to school in the states): what's it like? His kids were thinking of going to school in the U.S., and he wanted a blind, unbiased opinion from a stranger (...). I said, it's almost like here [Canada], only fewer things are free (i.e. health care, social services, a good public library) -- and only the strong survive. I found living in the U.S. to be fairly cut-throat -- not in the sense that anyone is out to get you, but in the sense that, in the U.S., one must raise raise one's voice in order to be heard. You need to be a vocal, pro-active personality in order to be successful and find what you want -- and in order to get what you want, you have to be able to ask for it.

Besides the challenge of living in a nation of extroverts after growing up in a nation of introverts, I told him that the second challenge was this: everyone assumes that, because Canada and the U.S. are neighbouring North American cultures, most things are exactly the same -- and that most institutions are completely compatible, when they most certainly are not. (Case in point -- the very difference and incompatibility between Canadian + American direct deposit information and routing (or Routing?) number practices. The irony that this customer service representative had no idea whether or not they could or would wire my cheque from the U.S. to the Canadian bank that he works for, and how, being a customer service representative, he might help me to arrange that -- I think the irony was lost on him.)

I told him how, when I first moved to Rhode Island, I had another banking problem, when my small-town Rhode Island bank branch failed to process a transfer of funds because the computer system was not set up to recognize foreign currency (transferred from my same Canadian bank -- an institution that also primarily deals in Canadian funds, but also in U.S. dollars!) . Norm tried to sell me on another bank service, RBC Centura -- which has branches in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Virginia. But what good would that do me, way up in Rhode Island?

I think I'll just do it the old fashioned way, and wait for my cheque to arrive in the mail -- like everybody else.

What state should you live in?

. . . and of course, the U.S.-equivalent quiz (as with everything, there's always a U.S. equivalent -- though it is always markedly different).
http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=24094

Apparently I ought to live in Louisiana (although, Florida was pretty close. Funny that, especially since many Canadians migrate there this time of year).

FYI, the tie-breaker for Louisiana vs. Florida for me was a choice of either "YOU LIKE TO PARTY GET DRUNK AND SHOW PEOPLE YOU BOOBS/ OR LOOK AT BOOBS", or "YOU LIKE SPRING BREAK". I went with boobs; where I come from, it's pronounced "March Break".

Sacred milk: linguistic Manifest Destiny

This is an article written by my witty and incredulous sister, Michaela Gerussi. Of all the articles posted on this blog, this one has by far the most spirit and panache.

If you care at all about local businesses, cultural and linguistic freedom, or calling a spade a spade, read on.

Coffee Talk

If you’re interested in becoming a ‘Barista’ at Starbucks, apply now. They’re mass hiring right now, and have plans to open five hundred new cafes in Canada. Starbucks is taking over the country.

Starbucks’ success in Canada is undeniable. It’s the trendy place to go for coffee, tea, and reduced fat, vegan brownies.

Many of us feel that it’s important to support Canadian, if not local businesses. Unfortunately, most accessible restaurants and cafes in Toronto are American owned chains. Even your friendly neighborhood Second Cup, which at least started out in Canada, is now owned by an American company. Lately, Second Cup has been overshadowed by the merciless Starbucks.

A recent recruit shares his experience of being thrust into the world of Starbucks:

“I was surprised at how seriously they take working at Starbucks. I have a huge textbook to read through about making coffee. I’ve realized that it’s not an evil company, they’re just incredibly successful. They’ve thought of everything. They use fair trade coffee beans, and invest in community centers in the areas where they get the beans. Their prices are high, but what you’re paying for is a drink that you can customize to be exactly what you want. The high costs also let them treat their employees very well. Nine dollars an hour and free drinks on every break is enough, but after six months, I actually get health benefits, and the company will help contribute to my RRSP account.”

Starbucks has swooped in on us, and we willingly agree to order deliciously artificial American drinks using words like ‘venti’ and ‘macchiatto’ as if we’re in an Italian espresso bar.


To be honest, this is not a problem for me. They are not ripping off any coffee farmers in South America or testing their products on baby Rabbits. I have no problem with the company; in fact I hear good things. My issue with Starbucks is the effect it has had on our culture so far.

Starbucks is not only oozing onto every street corner in Toronto; it is slowly but surely breaking down the sacred tradition that is Skim milk.

I can’t figure out how they got away with ‘non-fat’ milk. In Canada we say skim milk, obviously, and have been saying it for who knows how long. All of the workers and customers are Canadian, so the only ones forcing ‘non-fat’ on us is those little stickers on the milk jugs. ‘Skim’ even takes less time to say (and of course we all know that Starbucks is for busy, busy people) but the Americans up in the offices don’t know what that means, and it confuses them.

If you think about how many people go to Starbucks and are exposed to the ‘non-fat’ phenomenon, it’s easy to see how it has really impacted the milk world.

Caitlin has been working at Second Cup for a few months now. For a little experiment, I asked her about the milk situation at good old second Cup. By the way, Second cup has been in Canada since the seventies, and has been ‘Skim’ from the beginning. Caitlin told me that they still label the milk ‘Skim’, but almost all of the customers order ‘non-fat’ milk. It’s pretty amazing how ‘non-fat’ spread like wildfire.

I think it’s just plain rude to disregard our cultural language the way Starbucks has. Little by little, America is molding us. I would hate to see it get so bad that we call toques ‘knitted ski caps’.

Michaela Gerussi